Never feed a cigarette to a smaller child...they just might eat it and a bad habit could ensue
Never shit on your Aunt's roof
Never shit inside a snow suit
Never shit in a penalty box
Never take photos of your shit...someone could see them on your cell phone and social network your ass. No pun intended
Never dine and dash when getting gas, if everyone started walking to work...the price would come down REAL quick
Never go camping and forget to wipe. Cutting out "will nots" from the hair in your anus is disturbing, painful and embarassing
Never accept responsibility for a friends keys when swimming. You may lose them and he will have to drive three hours home and then three hours back to Bancroft from Newmarket to get them
Never surf adult material on your work computer. Especially if you are into BDSM and Brazillian Trannies.
Never let your wife know you had an affair...even if she catches you in the act. Deny deny deny and make her question her own sanity. It's better that way...trust me
Never leave an apple in your desk for a month especially if it's locked in a tupperware container with half a tuna sandwich
Never take ante abuse and eat tiramisu
Never kiss your girlfriend with a combination of red wine, chocolate and tuna in your mouth
Never kiss your wife unless you have a combination of these in your mouth, she may want you to kiss her again on occassion
Never tell your nephews that their dead father used to cheat on their currently depressed, poor and bi-polar mother
Never squeeze the relish bottle too hard at a restaurant, a relish tsunami is no fun for anyone
Never join your workout partner in the shower after the workout without invitation
Never joke about leaving the company you currently work for unless you really are planning to leave and you know for a fact no is punking you
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