Never make racist comment to a black border guard
that everone you even knew with that name is a actually.....wait for it...Gay with a capital G!
Never tell your friend, just after there kid is born and they call you from hospital to tell you the name they chose for their son is Gay,
Never lock yourself in your own car or admit that you did it twice
Never come to work sick. Your impersonation of a lumbering walrus-sized phlegm factory is enough to make everyone else around you toss their cookies.
Never fart in public. Unless you can produce a recognisable tune, like Lady Gaga's "Poker Face".
Never tell people just how smart you think you are. You'll almost invariably prove their perception of you wrong.
If you get stopped by the police while driving, keep your pants on. "Commando" is not a defence.
Never talk trash about somebody without proof, and if you do have proof, get ready for the smack-down!
Never murder a co-worker. Although some co-workers might really deserve it, it looks bad on a performance review
Never sit beside a loud-mouthed moron who tends to announce every damn little thing they observe to the world. The spiritual and intellectual void they generate, due to the massive waste of oxygen, is enough to spoil your mood.
Never wipe your nose on the $20-dollar bills you give to strippers that dance for you at the peeler bar. They hate that.
Never try siphoning gas from another car while it's being fuelled at the gas station. With today's gas prices, that's just rude
Never come to work sick. Your impersonation of a lumbering walrus-sized phlegm factory is enough to make everyone else around you toss their cookies.
Never fart in public. Unless you can produce a recognisable tune, like Lady Gaga's "Poker Face".
Never tell people just how smart you think you are. You'll almost invariably prove their perception of you wrong.
If you get stopped by the police while driving, keep your pants on. "Commando" is not a defence.
Never talk trash about somebody without proof, and if you do have proof, get ready for the smack-down!
Never murder a co-worker. Although some co-workers might really deserve it, it looks bad on a performance review
Never sit beside a loud-mouthed moron who tends to announce every damn little thing they observe to the world. The spiritual and intellectual void they generate, due to the massive waste of oxygen, is enough to spoil your mood.
Never wipe your nose on the $20-dollar bills you give to strippers that dance for you at the peeler bar. They hate that.
Never try siphoning gas from another car while it's being fuelled at the gas station. With today's gas prices, that's just rude
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